Write Back
by ThatOneAnimagus
Summary: Walburga Black expected her son Sirius to go to Hogwarts. She did not expect him to be sorted into Gryffindor. But there's hope. If she yells at the headmaster enough, maybe he can be resorted into Slytherin, where he belongs. There's just the matter of convincing Sirius to resort. So Regulus begins writing to his brother. One-shot with aeroplanes and book exposure for everyone.


"GRYFFINDOR? WHAT DO THEY MEAN, GRYFFINDOR?"

Regulus winced at the volume of his mother's shrieks.

"HE'S A BLACK, HE SHOULD BE IN SLYTHERIN!"

Her shouting was nothing new; that happened on a daily basis, but it wasn't ever this loud.

"REGULUS! DOWN HERE!"

Regulus froze. Had he done something?

"NOW!"

Probably. Mum always could find fault with him. Or Dad. Or Sirius.

Somewhat reluctantly, Regulus made his way downstairs to the sitting room, where the shouting was coming from. "Yes, Mum?"

Walburga Black, face turned purple from yelling, looked to him. Her dark hair was done up in an unusually tight bun, and her stormy eyes were narrowed in contempt.

"Sirius has been sorted," she said sharply. "Into Gryffindor."

Regulus blinked. "Gryffindor?"

A Black being in Gryffindor. It was unheard of.

Blacks were always in Slytherin. That was just how things worked. So then-

"Why is he in Gryffindor?" Regulus asked quietly.

"I haven't the slightest idea," Walburga said angrily. "But I'm writing to the headmaster to see that he's put in his place, in Slytherin."

Regulus nodded. That was good.

"But knowing your brother, he won't want to switch houses," Walburga continued. "So, Regulus, I want you to write to him begging him to go to Slytherin."

"Yes, Mum."

"Go on, then."

With that, Regulus hurried from the room.

* * *

_Sirius, _

_How's Hogwarts? Is it as brillient as you said it was? _

_Mum wanted me to right and tell you that you have to go to Slytherin. She said that you got Griffindor. _

_I don't really care which house your in because your still at Hogwarts, but she does, and you know how she gets when she's angry. So please switch?_

_Also, is the food as good as Kreacher's? And how big is the castle? You have to tell me everything!_

_Please right back!_

_From, _

_Regulus_

* * *

Sirius had read the letter twice already. He was working on reading it through a third time when his friend and roommate, James Potter, tapped him on the shoulder.

"What are you reading?" he asked curiously, readjusting his glasses as he peered of Sirius' shoulder.

"A letter from my brother," Sirius said.

"You have a brother?"

"Yeah. He's a bit of a pushover, but he's good enough. Usually up for nicking something from the kitchens and a game of gobstones." Sirius folded up the letter. "Terrible at chess and spelling, though," he added as an afterthought.

"Well, luckily for you, I can play chess," James grinned. "After class?"

"Unless you'd like to forfeit now?"

"Not a chance."

"Then yes, I will beat you after class."

"No, you've got it all wrong, _I'll_ beat _you_."

"Sirius laughed. "You're the one who's got it wrong. Just wait."

* * *

_Regulus,_

_No, I'm not going to be resorted. I know Mum put you up to that, but I already told my head of house that I was staying here. _

_Hogwarts is brilliant! The castle is huge- it takes ten minutes to get from Defense Against the Dark Arts to Charms! Maybe that's because I got lost, but that's not important. _

_Most of the people are alright. My roommates aren't half bad- James is always pranking people and claiming he can beat me at chess, (He can't, I've beaten him six times already.) and then the other two, Lupin and Pettigrew, are a bit quieter, but Lupin's got a good sense of humor. _

_Then there's the Transfiguration teacher, McGonagall. She's great. Except for the fact that she gave me detention yesterday for trying to transfigure my needle into a sword instead of a match. It got a little bigger and pointier. She wasn't very happy. _

_The classes themselves are fine, but some of them are really boring. History of Magic is the worst. Be glad you don't have it. _

_\- Sirius_

_P.S. Yes, the food is way better than Kreacher's._

_P.P.S. Your spelling is worse than Cissy's._

* * *

Regulus frowned as he read the letter. Mum would be upset, and that would mean more shouting.

And his spelling couldn't be worse than his cousin's. She had spelled "they" as "thay." He wasn't that bad.

"Well? What did he say?" Walburga demanded, snatching the letter from Regulus.

Regulus held his breath and braced himself for the shouting.

"NO? THE FILTHY TRAITOR SAID NO? HE WANTS TO STAY IN THAT LOWLY HOUSE?"

Regulus looked down at the table, waiting for the screaming to subside.

"-DISGRACE OF MY FLESH AND INSULT TO THE BLACK FAMILY! THAT WORTHLESS-"

The shouting went on for a while before she was forced to stop and catch her breath.

"Regulus," she said, dangerously quiet. "Get your father. And tell him I want to speak with him now."

"Yes, Mum."

Regulus left the room, headed for Orion Black's study.

The study door was closed, as usual. That meant that Orion would be in there.

Regulus knocked.

There were footsteps, then the door opened.

"Yes, boy?" snapped Orion, looking down at Regulus.

"Mum wants to see you," said Regulus. "She sent me to get you."

Orion sighed. "Tell her I'll be there when I finish."

Regulus hesitated, then said, "Mum said that she wants to speak with you now."

Orion muttered something under his breath, then followed Regulus to the sitting room.

"Out," she said briskly to Regulus.

"Yes, Mum."

As soon as Regulus was in the hall, the door shut with a snap.

Regulus turned and began walking towards the stairs. Maybe he could read another chapter of his book before Walburga started yelling again.

Then he stopped. "Kreacher," he whispered.

There was a crack like a whip, and Kreacher, the aging house elf, appeared.

"Yes, Master Regulus?" Kreacher said, bowing low.

"I need you to…" Regulus paused, the continued. "I need you to tell me what Mum and Dad are saying about Sirius. But don't get caught, or tell them I was wondering."

"Kreacher is happy to serve young Master Regulus."

"Thanks."

Kreacher moved towards the sitting room door as Regulus crept up the stairs to wait.

Fifteen minutes later, Kreacher appeared.

"What'd they say?" Regulus asked.

Kreacher sounded almost gleeful. "Mistress is going to send the blood traitor Sirius a Howler!"

"Don't call him that!" Regulus said. "He's not a blood traitor."

"Kreacher is sorry, Master Regulus."

"Thank you. You can go grab something to eat from the kitchens now if you want. If Mum asks, tell her I said you could."

Kreacher bowed, then with another crack, disappeared.

* * *

_Sirius, _

_I don't think I'm supposed to right, but Kreacher told me that Mum is going to send you a Howler. Maybe you should skip breakfast._

_Hogwarts sounds grate. Why is History of Magic so boaring? Dad made it sound like it was a good class. And why do you like the Transfiguration teacher if she gave you detention?_

_From, _

_Regulus_

_P.S. My spelling isn't worse then Cissy's. I've been praticing. _

* * *

"Is that from your brother?" James asked, glancing at Sirius.

"Yeah," Sirius groaned. "He said that my Mum sent a Howler."

"Oh," James said. He looked up, then back at Sirius. "Well, that explains that."

Sirius looked up, only to see a scarlet red envelope being carried by a large eagle-owl.

"You should take that out to the corridor," James suggested grimly.

"It'll echo out there," Lupin said. He was sitting across from James studying the red envelope had been dropped onto the table. "I don't think it really matters."

"I'll wait until I'm in the dorm to open it," Sirius decided. "Or better yet, rip it in half and not open it at all…."

"It'll give you the message whether you open it or not," Lupin pointed out.

"Maybe this one is broken," James offered.

It wasn't. The envelope began to smoke at the edges.

"Just open it," Lupin said. "It'll be over sooner."

Sirius sighed, then looked at him. "If it wasn't for the fact that you're usually right, I would throw my bacon at you."

"Then that would be a waste of bacon," James said.

Resignedly, Sirius slit open the envelope.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!"

Sirius nearly fell out of his seat. Walburga's voice was far louder than usual.

"HOW DARE YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE PLACED IN GRYFFINDOR? HOW DARE YOU NOT BE RESORTED INTO SLYTHERIN WHEN YOU WERE GIVEN THE CHANCE? YOU HAVE BROUGHT SHAME UPON THE ENTIRE FAMILY!"

Everyone was staring at Sirius, who was still on the ground with his hands over his ears.

"YOU COULD HAVE CONTINUED THE FAMILY TRADITION AND BEEN PUT INTO THE HOUSE OF WEALTH, HONOR, AND SUCCESS! INSTEAD YOU CHOOSE TO ASSOCIATE WITH MUDBLOODS AND BLOOD TRAITORS!"

Quite a few people seemed to be shouting in outrage, but nothing could be heard except for the Howler.

"I SWEAR BY THE BLOOD IN MY VEINS, IF YOU BRING ANY MORE SHAME UPON THIS FAMILY-"

Walburga must have run out of time, as the Howler promptly tore itself up.

The hall was silent.

"Well," Sirius said, attempting to sound light, "That's my mum for you." He uncovered his ears and stood.

Neither James nor Lupin said anything.

"Mr. Black?"

Sirius turned to see McGonagall standing behind him.

"Hey, Professor. How are you?"

"Would you come with me?" McGonagall asked.

Sirius nodded.

* * *

_Regulus, _

_Thanks for the warning. Mum sure can scream. Maybe she's a banshee? You should ask her. I bet she couldn't deny it._

_The Transfiguration Teacher, McGonagall (We call her Minnie now) is great because when you get in trouble she offers you a biscuit. Also, I think she likes me. That's why she's great. _

_History of Magic is boring because the teacher, Binns, is awful. You'd think having a ghost for a teacher would be exciting, but he puts the entire class to sleep, including himself. I either take a nap in that class or bug my roommates. James and Pettigrew are happy to talk, but Lupin's always shushing me. He says he's trying to take notes. He may be sarcastic and funny at lunch, but he's a real swot in lessons. Not in a bad way, but it's unbelievable. Why would you pay attention in class when you could be throwing paper aeroplanes?_

_Oh yeah. You probably don't know what aeroplanes are. They're these big muggle contraptions that fly all over the place. They look kinda like metal birds, but their wings don't flap. We fold paper things that look like the planes and throw them at each other. It's loads of fun. _

_\- Sirius_

* * *

Regulus grinned as he read the letter. Flying metal birds? They couldn't be as good as they sounded if they were made by muggles, but they did sound cool. And a ghost for a teacher? Brilliant!

Quickly as he could, Regulus fumbled for some paper to write back with.

* * *

_Sirius, _

_Those aeroplanes sound brillient! And you have a goast for a teacher? How can he put himself to sleep? Can ghosts even sleep?_

_I bet you could find out in the library. Mum and Dad say it's huge. Is it? _

_I herd that the library had a Restricted Section. Have you gone in there? Are there any good books?_

_From, _

_Regulus_

* * *

Sirius snorted. "He just called aeroplanes 'brilliant.'"

"They are, though," James shrugged. "Dad says that they're useful."

"Has he ever flown on one?" Sirius asked curiously.

"I don't know. I'll ask him," James said. "Anything else I should ask?"

"No, I don't think so," Sirius said, then glanced over to where Lupin was reading. "Oi, Lupin, do you know if ghosts can sleep?"

"No, I don't," Lupin said, glancing up. "Maybe if you went to the library you could figure it out."

"I'm not setting foot in _that_ place," Sirius said. "Never."

"You're missing out."

"On what? A bunch of moldy old tomes?" James said.

"Moldy old tomes and _good books_," Lupin corrected.

"Same thing," Sirius said dismissively. "Anyway, would you say the library is big? And does it have a Restricted Section."

Lupin looked at him carefully. "Come on."

"What do you mean, 'come on?'"

"What I said. Come on." Lupin stood and made for the Common Room door.

"No way," Sirius said. "I said never. I'm not-"

"Never say never." It looked as though Lupin was hiding a grin. "And you are."

Fifteen minutes later, Sirius was in the library.

"What was your first name again?" he asked, turning to Lupin.

"Remus," Lupin said.

"What's your middle name?"

Remus sighed.

"Fine, I'll guess." Sirius thought for a moment, then looked at Remus. "Remus Elizabeth Lupin, how dare you kidnap me and bring me to this uncivilized room?"

Remus snorted. "Elizabeth?"

"Yes. Do you prefer Liza?"

"That's not my middle name."

"Sure it is. Now get me out of here, Remus Liza Lupin, before I die of book exposure."

"Book exposure?"

"Yeah. Please, I can already see the light!"

"You know that you're too dramatic sometimes, right?"

"The light is upon me! It is everywhere!"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Tell James and Minnie goodbye! And write Regulus back for me!" With that, Sirius collapsed, shaking with suppressed laughter.

Remus looked at him for a moment before deciding, "You need to work on your acting skills."

* * *

_Regulus, _

_It is a miracle that I am able to write this. While trying to obtain the information about the library for you, I nearly died of book exposure. It's all your fault. And Remus Elizabeth Lupin's fault. By the way, he's not sure if ghosts can sleep or not. _

_Anyway, about the library. It's the size of the Rosier's dining room (huge, in other words) and almost as awful. There is a Restricted Section, the one part of the library where I don't think you'd suffer from book exposure, but I'm not sure. Sorry, but I'm not checking if it means going back there. _

_About aeroplanes- James told me some stuff about them. His dad flew in one once. They have loads of seats and the work because of "thrust, lift, drag, and weight." I'm not sure what that means, but I'll figure it out. Probably. Oh yeah, and Pettigrew said that his cousin got free biscuits on one once. _

_I don't think much else has happened here since my near-death except recovery. Minnie didn't lay off of the homework. Still think she's great, though._

_\- Sirius_

_P.S. The folded thingy is a paper aeroplane._

* * *

Regulus stared at the folded thing. So that was what an aeroplane looked like. He lifted it up, and without thinking, threw it.

It soared across the room, gliding blissfully until it hit the door nose-first.

Regulus stood and made to grab it. Just as he reached it, the door to his room opened, revealing none other than Walburga.

She caught sight of the letter in his hand and paper aeroplane immediately. "What are those?"

"Er…." Regulus hesitated. His mum would hate if he told the truth about the paper aeroplane being a muggle contraption. And she might not know he was writing to Sirius. "It's… a paper thing I folded, it glides around. And I was sent a letter… from Bella."

Walburga gave him a piercing stare, then held out her hand. "Let me see."

With a sinking feeling, Regulus passed over the letter.

Walburga read it over, eyes narrowed. "You've been writing to your brother?"

"Yes, Mum."

"Without permission?"

"Yes, Mum."

"About muggle contraptions such as aeroplanes?"

Regulus hesitated, then nodded. "Yes, Mum."

Walburga gave him a long, hard look. "You are to write to Sirius telling him that you will not be corresponding anymore. Then, you will come downstairs and I will deal with you."

"Yes, Mum. But why can't I write to Siri-"

"Because he's a blood traitor and a disgrace," Walburga snarled. She very close to shouting. "He's a terrible influence for you, and he will corrupt you given the chance! Now write to him and tell him you will not be corresponding, then come downstairs so that I can deal with you, and DON'T ASK ANY MORE QUESTIONS!"

Regulus took a step back. "Yes, Mum," he mumbled.

Walburga turned on her heel and slammed the door behind her.

* * *

_Sirius,_

_Mum found out I was righting to you. She told me that I couldn't anymore, so if you right back I can't right you back. _

_Your friend's middle name is Elizabeth? What kind of a name is that? And is book exposur really something you can die from?_

_I probebly shouldn't be righting all these questions because you aren't supposed to right back. I have more questions, but I'll right a list and save them for when you get back for the winter holiday. _

_The paper aeroplane was brillient. How did you fold it? And you can ride on the big metal ones? And you get biscuits from them? We should ride on one sometime. Wouldn't that be cool?_

_Mum is screeming at me to finish up and get downstairs. I have to go. _

_Wish you could right back, but I'll see you for the holiday in a few months!_

_From, _

_Regulus_

* * *

Sirius read the letter. Then reread it. And reread it again.

"What did he say?" James asked.

"My dear old mum has forbidden him to write to me," Sirius said. "He also thinks that Remus Elizabeth Lupin is a ridiculous name, he doubts the existence of book exposure, and thinks that riding on an aeroplane would be cool."

"Your mum isn't going to let him write you?" Pettigrew asked incredulously.

"Knowing Mum, it's the most reasonable thing to do," Sirius shrugged. "I'll write him back, maybe he'll write me anyway. If he doesn't, I'll convince him." He made to grab some parchment and a quill from his bag.

"You know that he might get in trouble if your mum finds out you're still writing him, right?" Remus said hesitantly.

"The worst she'll do is lock him in the basement for a few hours," Sirius shrugged. "The basement is pretty awful, but he has Kreacher- he's our house elf- on his side. Kreacher would throw himself into a forest of bowtruckles for him. Regulus'll be fine."

"Well, then make sure to tell him that my middle name is _not_ Elizabeth," Remus said.

James snorted. "I still don't know how he came up with that."

"It's the truth," Sirius said earnestly. "It's Remus Elizabeth Lupin, or Remus Liza Lupin for short."

Remus sighed as James and Peter laughed.

"You know it's true," Sirius said. "It's a fact."

* * *

_Regulus,_

_I know Mum said that you couldn't write back, but you don't have to listen to her. She says that she knows best, but she can be wrong. Everyone can. Except for me, but that's because I'm a genius. _

_Anyway, Remus asked me to tell you that his middle name is not, in fact, Elizabeth. He's off his rocker. It's definitely Elizabeth, or Liza for short. _

_James found out some more stuff about aeroplanes. Lift equals weight and thrust equals drag when the plane is flying at a constant velocity. I don't know what that means, but he copied it out of a book, so it's probably right. And aeroplanes were invented by some Americans, and in America they call them airplanes. Shouldn't we all just spell them the same way instead of having two different ways?_

_Yes, you can die from book exposure. I nearly did, and as a survivor, I caution you against it. Stay away from libraries and you'll be fine. _

_You'll never guess what happened today. _

_Did you guess?_

_We found the kitchens! Well, Albert Smith (He's a Hufflepuff, I think) showed us how to get in. He bet that he could beat me at chess. I told him he couldn't. The bet was: if he won, I would tell him the password to Gryffindor Tower. If I won, he would show us where the kitchens were. It's brilliant! There's so much food, and the house elves that work there practically beg you to take some with you when you leave. James' favorite thing to take are these eclairs, Remus likes the chocolate, and Pettigrew is all over the noodles. The chicken is the best, though. _

_Remember, you don't always have to listen to Mum. Making your own choices isn't as bad as she makes it sound._

_Write back soon._

_\- Sirius_

* * *

_Regulus,_

_I'm not kidding. Decision making isn't half bad. It's landed me in a few detentions (thirty three, to be exact) but overall it's brilliant. _

_The other day we went into the forest. They call it the Forbidden Forest, but I'm not sure why. It's kinda dark in there, but there isn't much in there besides trees. Well, there's Pettigrew's lost watch, but that won't bite. _

_How are things in London? Did you get in trouble because I kept writing you? I'm sorry if you did. It would help me figure out what's going on if you'd write back. _

_Anyway, James is being tortured by Remus, who's forcing him to do his essay. I should probably save him. _

_\- Sirius_

* * *

_Regulus, _

_Can you please write back? Even just send a "don't worry I'm fine" scrap of paper? It's been a month since you last wrote. Mum hasn't killed you, has she? Are you even getting these? I hope so. Otherwise I'm wasting my parchment._

_There's a rumor going around about there being secret passageways in the castle. What do you think? James says we need to find them before everyone else, but we haven't had any luck so far. There were some seventh years, though, that claimed they had found some. I'm going to challenge them to chess to try and get them to tell me. _

_Müller, the D.A.D.A teacher (Defense Against the Dark Arts) said that he's going to be bringing in a kappa. I think that's a water demon. We get a practical lesson, which might be better than a non practical lesson. I'll tell you how it goes. _

_Please write back._

_\- Sirius_

* * *

_Regulus,_

_If you don't write back this'll probably be my last letter. Try to not be happy about that. I'm not. You're the only sane person in the family besides Drommie and Uncle Alphard. Don't go mad on me now._

_I lost the bet against the seventh year. Minnie found out that I had bet the Gryffindor password and wasn't happy. She gave me a week of detention. _

_James and I haven't been able to find any of the secret passages on our own. They're really well hidden. _

_Müller's practical lesson was pretty good, and guess what- no homework! I think that was because he had to take care of the kappa. I think it was sick from eating too many cucumbers. _

_If you plan on writing back, now is the time. _

_\- Sirius_


End file.
